Permission to Demolish?
by roo17
Summary: Zack has blackmailing material on Seph and Cloud. Now they must endure Zack's embarrassing torturous ways until they can destroy his laptop, Shiny. crack.


Permission to Demolish?

Chapter One: Meet Shiny.

_Summary: Zack has a laptop called Shiny and has downloaded blackmailing material on Seph and Cloud. Now they must endure Zack's torturous ways until Shiny is destroyed. No pairings!_

**A/N: Okaaay, so this is my first Final Fantasy story, so bear with me, please? I know I don't have everyones personalities correct, and there is indeed OOC-ness. So I got this idea when my computer had a kernel panic and kept shutting down when I was writing. I wanted to demolish it, thus coming up with this little quirk. So, I hope you enjoy it! Crack-fic!**

Disclaimer: I…. I… I am the- *falls up stairs* I… I'm okay… ow.

**xSxCxZx**

Sephiroth sat at the table as he waited for his breakfast that Cloud ordered from the restaurant down the street. His head slightly pounded and he squinted when the light met his sight. Yep, Sephiroth had a small hangover. He looked over at Cloud who was doing the dishes while smiling, seeming unaffected by the light.

"How do you not have a hangover?" The General asked. Cloud looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"I have a natural resistance of hangovers." There was a knock at the door and Cloud dried his hands. "Could you go wake Zack up? Breakfast is here." The silver-haired man slowly stood up and made his way to the bedroom which was down a small hall. He entered the room and found Zack sleeping on the floor next to the bed, hugging his new laptop he bought last week. He nudged the sleeping man with his foot.

"Zack, breakfast is here." He only got an incoherent mumble as a response. Sephiroth sighed as he knelt down and took the laptop out of Zack's arms. Zack's eyes instantly snapped open and he dove for his computer.

"Shiny!" He successfully got his laptop back and hugged it tightly. Sephiroth raised one of his silver eyebrows.

"Shiny?" Zack nodded and suddenly realized he had a small hangover himself.

"It's my laptop's name. Shiny." The General looked at the silver-shined laptop.

"You named your laptop? How odd…"

"I know, I know. So where's breakfast?"

"It just arrived. Lets go." The two made their way back into the kitchen and sat at the table. The table was covered with chinese takeout orders.

"I'm guessing we're having chinese for breakfast?" Zack asked, still holding his laptop. He sat down and grabbed a takeout container, opened it, and started eating. "Mmm, this is good." Cloud stared at the object as he took a bite of lemon chicken.

"Why are you still holding onto that thing?"

"It's not a thing!" Zack shouted. "It's Shiny. And I'm not letting go of it. It has important stuff on there."

"What kind of things?"

"Black mailing material."

"For who?"

"Both of you." Cloud and Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"And what exactly is this blackmail material?"

"I recorded everything you guys did last night on a video cam and downloaded onto Shiny." Sephiroth and Cloud's eyes widened, causing Zack to grin widely.

"You didn't…"

"I did."

"You wouldn't…"

"Oh, I would."

"Give me Shiny." Sephiroth ordered, feeling slightly like an idiot for calling the laptop by its name. Zack hugged the laptop even closer.

"No…"

"Zack…" The General growled, causing Zack to gulp. "Give me the laptop."

"No!" Cloud, whose face was now red with embarrassment just thinking if anyone saw that video, launched himself over the table and right at Zack; both of them falling to the floor.

"Give us the laptop!" Cloud yelled as he sat on Zack, trying his hardest to pry the object from the mans arms.

"Never!" Zack's grip on the laptop turned into a death grip and the blond cadet had no chance of getting it. Zack pushed Cloud off, causing the blond the bump into the table. A takeout box of chow mien noodles flow into the air. Zack and Cloud watched as the box flew in slow motion and landed upside on… Sephiroth's head. Their argument stopped immediately and everything fell deathly quiet. Noodles covered the General's hair and head as he continued to sit there with his hands in his lap. Not being able to control himself, Zack started laughing. A horrified look came over Cloud's face, although deep inside he too wanted to join in the laughter. He slowly began to back away from Zack, who was still laughing on the floor.

"Zack." Zack looked over at Sephiroth, who was glaring deeply at him. "You have three seconds to run." Zack did not hesitate. He stood up and ran for his life out of the room and out sight; Shiny gripped tightly to his chest. After a minute passed and Sephiroth removed the noodles from his head, Cloud cleared his throat.

"Um… Aren't you gonna kill Zack?" Sephiroth slightly smirked.

"No. I want to see how long he runs before figures out I'm not chasing him." Cloud grinned and sat down to eat his yummy breakfast.

**xXxXx**

**Yeah, I was bored. But there will be more chapters ahead, along with more blackmailing material! :D So please, tell me how you liked this! Please?  
****PS: My other account 'roo's psychotic mind' is acting up, so I'm gonna upload a few stories that were supposed to go on that account onto here until my account is fixed. Thanks!**

******~roo's psycho insane mind**


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